Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
how does that bad decision feel?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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