I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I need a hoe opinion
go on
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
