Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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