watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
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