Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
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