what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
