i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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