i just had sex bonerless
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
