we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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