Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
