I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Naked. naked and bneed help.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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