the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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