Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
