He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
