i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
