You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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