Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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