you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
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