Nicole vs. Life
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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