The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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