I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
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I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
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The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic