did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit