Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me