none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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