If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
