I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Randomize
