Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
