that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize