It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
