I must be too annoying 4 u.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
