So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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