I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize