Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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