I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
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