I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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