Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize