all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
