I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Randomize
