woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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