i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
