Me. At least after what I've been through.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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