Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
