you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
So apparently I’m into choking now
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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