i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
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