u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
no, he came in my armpit
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
