did you get engaged???
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
