dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
