Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
