she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
