I want to have your abortion
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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