There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
