she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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