At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
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