He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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