im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
