They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
My balls are so social today.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
