You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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