That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
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