Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
