nutella sex= disaster
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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