So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
